The Grouchy Gaijin's Thoughts on Music and Such

ILLOGICALBEATS aka Brutha Smith sent The Grouch his press kit which contained three mp3s: "Keep it Up", "So You Drinking", and one song I couldn't figure out, it's either "Monoploy's" (from the press kit), "Monopolies" (from the photo of the record sleeve), or "Monoplys" (from the MySpace playlist). I'll give him credit on the spelling and call it "Monopolies." I found more of the record "The Time" on Brutha Smith's MySpace profile, including: "You Never Know," "Build Her Up," and "Never Quit." On at least one song it appears that Mr. BEATS has a partner in crime, Sideshow.

What can I say about this guy? With a name like ILLOGICALBEATS, I was expecting something like The Neptunes, The Pharcyde, De La Soul or maybe A Tribe Called Quest. Boy was I disappointed. He tries really hard and has a somewhat positive message, which isn't enough to keep your eardrums from crying out in pain when the music is playing. It would be one thing if it were the kind of California hip-hop we've become used to or even something completely new, but this guy don't even come close. The beats are typical of early hip-hop, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but on these songs it comes off like he just wasn't smart enough to re-program the drum machine. Lack of skills aside, these songs sound like they were recorded on a tape deck in some dude's basement. Making matters worse is the fact that much of the vocal work is sloppy and off-key. I don't have perfect pitch or anything, but some of this stuff is REALLY bad. If N.W.A. were coming from Compton with their intensity set at 11, this dude is something oozing out of the suburbs on about 2.

The kind of party music "So You Drinking" aims to be was mostly popular in the 1990's and was made hopelessly obsolete by Dr. Dre's classic record "The Chronic." It has enjoyed somewhat of a comeback in recent years but isn't a real staple of hip-hop today. This song has some ultra-forgettable verses and only a marginally better chorus. The agonizing part is the end of the track where the sing-along chorus falls apart. I'll just say this: if the song isn't interesting enough to hold the attention of the guy rapping, maybe you should reconsider releasing it to the public.

The next one I listened to, "Monopolies," is a 22-second assault on the eardrums. This one really makes no sense. It sounds like an idea that never got finished, I can't even really say too much about it. It's short and uninteresting.

The last song in the press kit was "Keep It Up." This one is also painfully out of date. This feels like stuff I would hear at some girl's birthday party in her dad's basement in the eighth grade. Despite its obvious lack of sophistication, this is the bright spot among these three songs. Maybe with a little more polish, and practice, this one would grow to be average.

I decided to check Brutha Smith's MySpace profile for the one gem that might make this a group worth listening to, but unfortunately I didn't find it. The best thing I found was the track "Build Her Up," which shows a slightly more interesting drum beat and a bit more refined production. "Never Quit" was slightly better than the rest of the stuff in ILLOGICALBEAT's repertoire also. However, taking the bad with the average is "You Never Know." This song sounds like something you would hear when you and your friends get too drunk to sing at a karaoke bar; the singing part is truly awful.

Overall this guy needs a vocal coach, a little more polish, and way more practice. I give ILLOGICALBEATS one scowl on the Grouch Scale.

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